Why It’s Okay to Feel Sad When Life Changes

This past Monday, March 2nd, 2026, I was sitting between classes grading when something caught me off guard.

I was getting sad.

Not stressed. Not frustrated. Not tired. Just… deeply sad.

The kind of sadness that sits heavy in your chest and doesn’t really have a clear explanation.

Normally, I would have distracted myself. Answered emails. Made a to-do list. Found something productive to do so I didn’t have to feel it.

But this time, I didn’t.

I let it sit there.

And honestly, that confused me. Nothing catastrophic had happened. No bad news. No major failure. So why did it feel so heavy?

After praying about it, thinking about it, and talking it through with my wife, I finally understood what it was.

It was grief.

And that surprised me.

I’ve always been an educator — long before I had degrees to prove it. I’ve always liked helping people figure things out. Sometimes that meant encouragement. Sometimes it meant telling someone the hard truth. But it always meant trying to meet people where they were.

Teaching isn’t just what I do. It shaped who I am.

But over the past year, I’ve realized something: seasons change.

Not dramatically. Not with fireworks. Sometimes they change quietly. Internally.

I’ve been asking bigger questions lately. About balance. About sustainability. About what the next season of life looks like. I don’t have all those answers yet. But I can feel the tension between what has been and what might be.

And that tension brought sadness with it.

Here’s what I’m learning:

Sadness doesn’t always mean something is wrong.

Sometimes it means something mattered.

When a season begins to shift — even if you don’t fully understand how yet — there’s a natural grieving process. You’re letting go of expectations. Of plans you once assumed would unfold a certain way. Of versions of yourself that carried you this far.

That doesn’t make you weak.
It doesn’t mean you failed.
It doesn’t mean you’re ungrateful.

It just means it was real.

I think we often rush past this part. We want the clarity. The announcement. The next step. But growth isn’t always loud. Sometimes it’s sitting in a quiet classroom, realizing you feel something you didn’t expect.

If you’re in a season where things feel like they’re shifting — even subtly — and you’re surprised by a sense of sadness, maybe don’t fight it immediately.

Maybe ask what it’s trying to show you.

I’m still figuring out what mine is pointing toward. But I’m learning that feeling sad during change doesn’t mean I’m lost.

It might just mean I’m growing.

Stay Thankful

Wow, can you believe at the time of writing this that the country has been shut down for nearly 2 months! I find that crazy, but yet slightly expected (won’t get into that.) However, this post is not about bashing anyone, but rather thinking back over these past 2 months about what I have gained from this experience. I will try to keep this short and sweet, but my apologies if that doesn’t happen.

First, I am thankful that my wife and I are able to spend more time together in our house. Most of you know, but for those who don’t, my wife and lived very different schedules before Covid-19 struck. I typically worked evening and night and she worked during the day. Most days, due to lessons, rehearsals or concerts I would not get to see her until bedtime. Due to this, we have been able to spend much more time together, which has been awesome! Sometimes we still get under each others skin, but I am happy for this time we have together.

Second, I am thankful that I have still be able to teach during this time. Whether it has been at Hagerstown Community College, Shepherd, Cumberland Valley School of Music or Privately, I am glad that I am still able to see my students. I do miss seeing them in person, but I am happy I still get the chance to see them on a weekly basis. I have found this to really be fine tuning my teaching skills, as before we could play duets to help with tone and other aspects of playing, but due to delay in the recording, I have had to fine tune my teaching to be more adaptive to the situation. I am very thankful for this as once we get back together I will have new skills in my back pocket.

Third, I am thankful that I am still able to connect with friends and family. I have been able to see my parents and my in laws much more during this time. They have all always been a great support system to have, and I know some of them are going through worse times than I am. I am so happy to still get to see friends, whether it be through video chats or just a phone call. As a matter of fact, just a few days ago I had a great 2 hour call with a dear friend of mine. I am so happy that we are at least in a time where video and phone communication works that we can have these talks.

Finally, I am happy for my health and well being. Being someone who is severely Asthmatic to the point of being treated for COPD (which if you don’t know is not something you should have at 26…) I am thankful that I am still in good health during these times. I have been taking precautions, as has most everyone else, and I am thankful that I have not come down with this deadly virus. I am happy that a vaccine is on the way, and I am happy to know that sometime soon I will be able to see people in person again, make music with friends, and perform live for audiences who will be excited to go to events again!

My friends, I know this is a time that it can be hard to be thankful, but try and find 3 things to be thankful for each day. They don’t have to be big, just something that may bring a little smile to your face. Stay healthy, wash your hands, and I will see you on stage!

Lessons

I sometimes get asked why people should take lessons. Honestly, it was hard for me to really put into words why I felt lessons were important. So, let me start by asking a question. When it comes to home repair, do you do it yourself or do you call an expert. Depends on the situation, right? So, when it comes to lessons, I think it really depends on what you want to accomplish (or what your parents want you to accomplish.) I grew up in a very musical family, where my mother played flute, and my father played clarinet. When I joined the band in 4th grade, it took them about 3 or 4 months before they considered getting me lessons (at the recommendation of the band director.) When first starting lessons, my plans were simple, just get better. How do you judge getting better? Is it tone production, range, dynamic control or something completely different? For me, getting better fell into 2 categories. Overall improvement on the instrument, and my own personal growth as a person. I feel that growing as a person is just as important as growing as a musician. When I teach lessons, the first lesson is very similar to most teachers, I try to do some basics and warm-ups to see where my students are in their own stages. I also want to get a sense of them as a person. I ask questions that seem not to pertain to music at all, but it helps me get to know who you are. Each week, I ask if anything new has happened in their lives, such as musical events, passing or failing a test, scoring the winning goal, etc. I use this to sort of get a sense as to where they are in their head today. All this information goes into the lesson process. So, back to the main question today, why take lessons? Well, I think it is a personal reason more than anything. Lessons helped me accomplish what I wanted to be, a better person. I think that is the reason to take lessons.

Personal Struggle

Have you ever had the experience of sitting at home, in your car, or at a coffee shop thinking “am I supposed to be doing something?” For me, this question has been hitting me hard for the past couple of days. Currently, I am sitting on my couch trying to relax before heading off to a big day of activities including work, practicing, etc. but my mind is stuck on preparing for February 4th, the first official day that I am no longer employed at a full time position. I am constantly thinking “are we prepared for this new adventure? Have we taken the steps necessary to ensure ‘survival?’ Are we prepared for the worst?” So, this blog is more for me than for you, but perhaps you can take a few tips from it to apply to your life. So let’s break down these questions and answer each. Question 1 “Are we prepared for this new adventure?” Absolutely. I am excited to be the boss of me, to collaborate with some fantastic musicians, teachers and students, and to be able to spend more time with the woman I love. Who wouldn’t want to have more time to spend with family and friends? Question 2 “Have we taken the steps necessary to ensure ‘survival?’” Well, I think it depends on your definition of survival. Some people think that means having the money and resources needed to go 3-6 months without a job or income. Some believe it means having the support of colleagues, friends, and family no matter what. In either instance, I am prepared. I have saved a set amount that I can live off of while I continue to reach for the stars (also I am still employed at lots of places so I am not losing all my income!) I also have some of the greatest colleagues, friends, mentors and family I could ask for! So, yes, I do have what I need for survival! Final question “Are we prepared for the worst?” I think as a musician, we are almost always prepared for the worst. I want to leave with a saying that I always think to myself in the worst times. “When you are going through hell, keep going.” Always try to find the good in things, whether it is in humanity or a bad situation, something good will happen after it gets bad. Thank you for reading this far, and as always if you have any questions or want to hear my thoughts on another subject, let me know via email or however you want to contact me!

Musically yours,

Nathaniel Lease

Happy New Year!

Happy New Year to everyone! 2019 is here, and it is time to set some new year resolutions! My wife and I have set some personal goals for ourselves, but I wanted to share a few additional goals that I set musically! First, I know there are many friends that I have not talked to in a few years from all walks of life. My first goal is to reconnect with friends that I have not talked to in forever! Second goal, I would like to set a goal of teaching 5-10 private students by the end of 2019. For that, I am asking for help. If you have any suggestions on how to do that, please let me know! I have some ideas, but anything that may have worked for you I would love to hear! Third, I am going to be recording a few more things to add to my website.  I know, I have said that before, but I got some new recording equipment for audio recordings and I am excited to try it out. Finally, I will try to post more on social media, both personal and professional items. I have noticed that I have taken a backseat in many aspects of social media. While I am not going to be posting everyday, I will try to make sure that I post something at least once a week or once a month. Yes, some may include updates on my website, but other items will be included! To all who have read this far, if you have any suggestions of topics you would like for me to discuss, noticed any typos, or just want to say hi, feel free to contact me via email, phone, facebook or my contact page! Happy New Year!

Musically yours,

Nathaniel Lease

Holiday Season Post

For many brass players, we are entering one of our busiest times of the year, the holiday season. This is the time of year that we are supposed to give thanks for different activities, life events, etc. from this past year. So in that tradition, I would like to say some things that I am thankful for during the past year.

First, I am super thankful for my wife. She supports me on any decision, good or bad, and more importantly she puts up with me on a daily basis. No matter how much I work and how tired I am when I get home, she is always there to cheer me up. Thank you for being you, and thank you for always having my back.

Second, I cannot go without thanking my family. You have always supported me, whether it be coming to all my recitals and concerts I play, all the Marching band festivals you had to chaperone, or listening to me practice from the start, you always pushed me to be better. I am here today doing what I love because you pushed me to better myself. Thank you for everything you do for me.

Third, I want to thank all my instructors that have guided me along the way. From Private instructors that have helped me master my craft and continue to help me master my craft, to band directors and orchestral conductors that introduced new and exciting pieces to my rep list that I listen to or get to play, thank you for being who you are! I cannot imagine what my life would be like without you all in it.

Fourth, thank you to my colleagues and my friends for always being there when I need you. Whether it be duets, a drink, or just talking, you mean more to me than I could ever express. Continue being the fantastic people you are, and if I haven’t spoken to you in a while, know I still think about you and if you are ever in the area, let me know so we can catch up!

Finally, thank you for reading this. I am not an emotional person, but I am working on it. I hope that this is a good first step into getting in touch with my emotions, and I hope that it can help continue to build the many friendships I already have and introduce new ones!

As always, continue doing what you love and pursuing your passion. Never give up, and know that if you need a friend, shoulder to cry on, or just someone to listen, I am always available.

Thank you for your time, and happy holidays!

Introductory Post

Good Morning World! This blog post will be short, sweet, and to the point. My name is Nathaniel Lease. I was born and raised in Hagerstown, MD. I attended undergrad at IUP (Indiana University of Pennsylvania) and I attended grad school at UD (University of Delaware). I am married to the girl of my dreams, Sara. She goes along and supports me even when I do incredibly stupid things (which can be often…). I have been playing trombone for about 17 years. Eventually, I would like to expand my horizon of music past trombone playing. This could include arranging and recording projects in addition to solo projects. My focus with my blogs will be to discuss the troubles and solutions that I find while planning these projects. Perhaps, if I can figure out how, we could even make it an open discussion so people who may know better than myself can input their ideas. Who knows; but I am excited for what the possibilities could be. For now though, Good luck, live happy, and happy practicing!